When you move to crazy town....

WHAT have we been up to?

This last few months the Bear family moved to crazy town. No packing of boxes, thank goodness, just a slight shift in our mental balance. It started with the weather forgetting that we live in a cool-temperate climate and doing an impression of a tropical summer. Complete with some local flooding.



The biggest lasting effect of all this rain has been our inability to get laundry dry! Yes, I know that isn't much compared to those who had their homes flooded, but I think any mother of many little ones knows that the laundry monster, once awakened, is very hard to put back to bed! We have a drier, but the humidity and the size of our house has meant that we have used it sparingly. So with toilet training, wet beds, camping trips and life in general we are drowning in an avalanche of washing!

Yes, that is enough to send a Mama Bear slightly potty.... but it doesn't stop there.

There was the completion of the boys room going from this



to this



which has meant the rearranging of almost every room in the house.

And there have been birthdays



And camping trips




and automotive projects in the driveway (just in case you're wondering, the thing in the blue tarp is the motor)




day trips to the mountains




And of course we have added a few regular commitments to our schedule that weren't there before because, you know, we have so much spare time on our hands. Plus a few of my own short term projects have all reached a deadline at once - funny how that happens! And our landscaping project in the front yard....let's just say I haven't been brave enough to photograph that one yet!

So the Bear Family, residing in crazy town at the moment.


WHY???

Partially it has been out of our hands. We don't control the weather! Partially it has been completely our choice - if we don't make camping trips a priority they won't happen and we think they are important enough to put up with a little extra chaos. Also, it has been a choice to put up with short term chaos for long term gain. Having the children go from all sharing a room to having a girls room and a boys room has changed our lives for the better in SO many ways. Having that ute fixed and on the road will cut our fuel bills and be useful for Papa Bear to cart building materials, landscaping materials and lots of other materials.

HOW???

Being that this is a homeschooling blog I am going to give a quick rundown on how I keep school ticking along during times of chaos.

1. I put my own oxygen mask on first. This is recommended to you every time you listen to the safety instructions before a plane takes off. Put your OWN oxygen mask on before helping anyone else, that way you won't be passed out on the floor with your child's oxygen mask only half on! Profound. Hard to apply at times. For me this looks like getting enough sleep, having an afternoon down time, eating well, drinking lots and taking my vitamins. If I do not do these things, I will be a burden to my family not a help during this time of chaos.

2. I plan by weeks rather than days. I have x amount that I expect we will get done in a week. We start on Sunday and work through until it is done or we hit Friday, which ever comes first! Usually, with no interruption, we are done except for a few cooking projects or read alouds by Wednesday and we get to focus on life learning for the rest of the week but if we have life stuff happen at the start of the week, we just shift our other work to the end of the week. At this point, we need the extra flexibility this allows and it works for me not to have to stress or re-plan if a day goes pear shaped.

3. I plan. Each week's work is planned with anything I need printed out and stuck in the appropriate manilla folder. The folders are numbered rather than dated so if it happens to take two weeks to get one week done, it is no biggie. But I never have to be sitting up scanning and printing the night before so Princess Doc has her school work in the morning. I wanted to have the whole year done, but I only have the first 12 weeks complete at this stage but I am just plodding along getting the rest done. So long as I stay a few weeks ahead of where we are I am happy. I got this idea from Kendra at Preschoolers and Peace and I have to say, I love the way it frees up my days.

4. I use some grab and go resources. I am in love with resources like Math-U-See, Song School Latin, Downunder Literature copywork, First Language Lessons for the Well Trained Mind and Simply Charlotte Mason's Spelling Wisdom. These are all resources that I do not have to fiddle with which makes planning SO much easier. For the most part, my independent worker can work independently with these too! Other than our ten to fifteen minutes of couch time I rarely give my undivided attention to Princess Doc's schooling. I may go over a concept with her as I peg out the washing or check some of her work while I feed Laughing Boy but it is rare for her to need me to stop what I am doing. I believe this is an important part of her being a self motivated learner and I also believe this is important with the current level of chaos in our home! It WORKS for us, and that is what I want in a curriculum. I do not want to work for a curriculum! Also, it means on her really motivated days, Princess Doc is finished all her book work before I am out of bed - she's our morning lark in a house of night owls.


5. I go with it. If it weren't for some major commitments toward the end of the year which will require some non-school weeks I would probably declare a fortnight's holidays and defeat that laundry monster and go crazy on the mess. But there are some inflexibilities in our life and we have to realise that. So each day I try and wash, dry and put away more washing than we make. Each day I try and make the house a little tidier than when I got up that morning. Each day I try and find time to laugh and love with my kids. Because I am the author of this crazy life and much of the crazy is of my own making. Plus, Crazy Town, it comes with benefits.

8 Ways a Mama Bear Can Learn

If Mama ain't learning...ain't nobody learning.


What do I mean?

Sometime in the last four or five generations we have picked up the idea, as a society, that learning happens at schools and universities. It is something that is done to a student by a qualified individual - often against that student's will. One day the student will graduate and then they will get to stop learning, other than occasional professional development or perhaps further education - again done at a school like facility or university.

I am going to assume that if you are reading this blog you at least have a passing interest in home education. Therefore, it is fairly safe to assume that you already know that people can and do learn somewhere other than school. But do you know that YOU can learn still? Do your children know it? Do they SEE it?

Not long ago I mentioned to Princess Doc that I had learned something and she asked "How come you didn't know that already? You're a grown up!" I explained that I am still learning every day and I hope to still be learning every day when I am ninety or more. It was a light bulb moment for her. Suddenly learning wasn't a path to be followed to a destination but an amazing place to be explored every day forever!

Why should we keep learning?

* To set a good example. A child will emulate behavior modeled far more readily than they will follow good advice. If your children see you learning, making mistakes, trying again, researching a topic of interest and completing a project they will learn skills that directly apply to their own studies and their own lives through your example.

* To keep your brain healthy. Research suggests that a good diet, exercise and lifelong learning are our best defense against age related brain disorders and mental illness like Alzheimers, age related bipolar disorder and many other devastating illnesses. If you don't use it you may well loose it.

* To maintain healthy relationships. If you are a homeschooling mother odds are you are home with your children most of the time. It is VERY easy to make homeschooling, mothering and keeping house into an all consuming task. Ask yourself, if your ENTIRE identity is your home and children, what kind of relationship do you have with your husband? What kind of relationship will you have with your children when they leave home? I am by no means suggesting that we should shirk our responsibilities in this area in order to pursue hobbies and selfish interests but I am suggesting that a well rounded mind can help us to be better wives, mothers and home makers.

* To develop our talents. If you are not familiar with the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30, I'll encourage you to go and read it.

How do we keep on learning?

OK about now there are women rolling their eyes at the monitor and saying "Great, ANOTHER thing to add to the to-do list!".

It's not about working harder, it's about working smarter! To learn, you don't need to enroll in a Masters program, you simply need to try something new, open a book, read something! Here are a few ideas of how to keep the learning going with a busy schedule.

1 Make yourself a book list. If you look at the top of this blog you will see a link labeled Mama Bear's Reading List. This is a list of books I want to read. I am trying to work through it at a slightly faster rate than I add to it! I read while I feed the littlest baby bear, I read while I wait for a doctor's appointment, I read for five or ten minutes after I get into bed (provided I get to bed before midnight), I read during nap times, I read whenever I get a spare moment and I'm not knitting...sometimes I multi-task and knit too. Compared to my ten book a week habit that I had pre-children it takes me a horribly long time to get through any book but the greatest thing about my learning right now is NO END OF SEMESTER EXAMS! If it takes me a year to get through a book, so what? As long as I am reading and enjoying and learning, what does it matter how long I take?

2 Practice a new skill or craft. I am a self confessed yarn addict. I love to knit and I am also learning to crochet. There is always something to learn with these crafts and I am constantly challenged, frustrated, ecstatic, devastated, intrigued and thrilled with my yarn adventures. Thankfully, this is a portable and easy craft to pursue. I knit in front of the TV, in the car, while I listen to children reading, while I wait for appointments, when I am camping, when I am visiting friends, when I take the kids to playgroup. Pretty much any time I sit down and I'm not reading, I have yarn. Sometimes, I do both. I realise that not all crafts are this easy to accommodate, but get creative. If it is cake decorating, scrap booking, quilting or dress making that boils your personal potato find a way or make a way to do just a little bit each week. You will be surprised how fast it clocks up.

3 Connect with fellow students and experts. When I joined ravelry, a yarn crafter's social networking site, I fell in love with knitting all over again. You can find all sorts of forums, blogs and websites all over the net. You may have a local group or a friend with a shared interest who you can connect with. You need to be aware of your time spent here and make sure that it is adding to your learning, not taking away from your living (as internet over-usage is apt to do!) but it can be worth doing. Barns and Noble run book clubs on their site which can be a great way to find people to discuss what you are reading with you.

4 Make use of podcasts, audio books and other techno aids. Downloading a few podcasts into your MP3 player to listen to as you do the dishes or go for a walk, or peg out washing can be a fabulous, time efficient way to add to your learning. Seriously folks, there is SO MUCH out there, your problem will be narrowing it down. Here is a list of 20 places to start just from my own bookmarks and poking around. Can you believe, I am still saving for my MP3 player?

librivox
free classic audiobooks
free christian audiobooks
homeschool radioshows
www.audiobooksforfree.com
www.learnoutloud.com
www.myaudioschool.com
www.abc.net.au/services/podcasting
www.gutenberg.org/browse/categories/1
www.epnweb.org
itunes.stanford.edu
www.npr.org/rss/podcast/podcast_directory.php
www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/podcasts
www.talkinghistory.org
www.philosophytalk.org
www.nature.com/nature/podcast/index.html
www.thenakedscientists.com
www.podcastdirectory.com
www.nationalgeographic.com/podcasts/
www.productivity501.com/free-academic-podcasts/78/

(just as a side note, if your kids have ipods to load up with lots and lots of educational goodies, you may be interested in this page telling you how to set a maximum volume to protect your precious offspring from industrial deafness: http://support.apple.com/kb/TA38403?viewlocale=en_US)

5 Don't be afraid just to dabble. I love to write. My writing consists of sporadic blogging and the grand aim of writing just one sentence per night in my journal. My garden teaches me heaps, but probably only gets an hour or two a week out of me. I love to cook new things, but only try maybe one new recipe per week. If you set your self small, attainable steps toward learning or improving your skills you will be more likely to get it done. ACHIEVABLE is the key word here.

6 Keep a notebook. If there is a particular topic that interests you, start a notebook where you jot relevant facts, ideas, book titles that you want to track down, paste newspaper and magazine articles and make notes as you read books related to the subject. It could be dog breeding, meta-physical poetry, the role of women in the Bible, household management methods or healthy eating. Whatever it is, keeping your thoughts and research in a central place can help connect the dots. It doesn't need to be fancy, it won't be submitted for marking, it is for your eyes only.

7 Link it to the kids school work. You love scrapbooking? Have the kids help you make a scrapbook and call it arts and crafts - or better yet, teach them to create their own scrap book about subjects they are studying (check out these links for more ideas: http://www.ehow.com/how_2237455_incorporate-scrapbooking-homeschool.html, http://www.squidoo.com/homeschoolscrapbooking, or just google homeschooling scrapbooking). Do you love dressmaking? Have the kids help you make medieval costumes as part of their history and craft learning. I always wanted to learn Latin so guess what we are learning this year? That's right! I can justify teaching Latin lots of different ways but when it boils down to it I want to learn it and it won't hurt for them to learn it too. Kids can make great study buddies! And sometimes, the best way to learn something is to teach it.

8 Take a short course. You may not be able to commit to a Masters program, but perhaps you have time to take an Adult Ed course. Perhaps you can take a course online. I quickly scanned an interesting blog post the other day listing "12 Dozen Places To Educate Yourself Online For Free" and you can bet I have bookmarked that one for a better look. This is something I am more likely to pursue in a season of life when the bear cubs aren't quite so time-intensive, but it's nice to plan ahead sometimes. Perhaps you have a burning desire to learn how to Zumba, join your local gym. Perhaps you want to learn how to throw pots or draw, the local TAFE may well be running a short course. If you can work it in, it can be well worth doing.

So check it out, think about it and get creative with your time. I honestly believe, nobody is to busy to learn.

What I couldn't do without...

Would you like to know what I couldn't school without?

The lynch pin of all my homeschooling adventures?

The core item that pulls everything together and keeps my sanity?

Well, here it is.




And let's take a close up



See that? It is the one thing that I couldn't do without.

What is it?
It is my snuggle spot.

Why is it so important?
Because this is where relationships and learning collide in our home.

How do I use it?
Every day I sit here and read to my children, sit them on my knee and count with them, listen to them, talk to them, dream with them, help with memorisation, kiss hurts and laugh at antics.

And that, my friends, is what homeschooling is to me.

The curriculum wars

One of the questions that seem to stress homeschooling mums most is "What curriculum should I use?". As with many parenting questions this one can start arguments that can break hearts and rend relationships apart. People get so hot under the collar about this one! And the marketers and advocates of "approaches" or "methods" of home schooling are not afraid to use a little ovarian guilt to get their point across. Honestly, think about it. Just to teach my child to read, according to the experts/marketers/rabid followers of certain methods I should:

Use phonics and whole language (or "living books")but leave teaching them until they are at least 7 (or show signs of "reading readiness") because otherwise you will crush their individuality/give them artificially induced dyslexia/sap from their souls the will to learn and love reading but give them these fantastic literacy resources to use from the time they sit up also using these brilliant DVD's that can HELP YOUR CHILD GET A HEAD START and we all know that in the Human Race a head start IS important, you wouldn't want your child to be LEFT BEHIND would you? Because then you will get a big fat FAIL from God on your parenting report card and have to write "I am a bad mother" 10,000 on the cosmic blackboard and......


AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

BREATHE!

This is just teaching them to read, I haven't even got to algebra, geography, history, science, foreign languages, composition.....

At this point many people send their kids to school. And, quite frankly, I can see why.

So, WHAT do we do?

Whatever works for us.

Why?

By works, I mean meets our goal of having a loving, positive family home that equips our children with a love of the Lord and a love of learning. Adding anything else to this is completely superfluous in my opinion.

HOW?

Here's how we manage to march to our own homeschool drum.

I realised that whatever I do someone will disagree with me and have good reasons for doing so. One of the positive things about having crunchy friends, traditionalist friends, activist friends, conservative friends, radical conservative friends etc. is I have access to so many diverse opinions and ways of thinking. The down side is whatever I do I am likely to have someone I love disagree, sometimes even be offended. This does mean, however, that when I do something, it is more often than not authentic Mama Bear, from the heart, honest to goodness, having a darn good go at it.

Which leads me to my next point.

Mama Bear and Papa Bear were chosen to raise these Baby Bears. At the end of the day we are accountable to each other, to God and to the Bear Cubs. Friends, neighbours and curriculum marketers don't even get a look in. Our interests, loves, knowledge and experience uniquely equips us to give our children their education.

And their education will be unique.

There will be gaps in their education and THAT'S OK! Do you know how I know? Because EVERYONE'S education has gaps when they graduate! That class you slept through, that year you had glandular fever, that semester when your heart was broken and you couldn't absorb anything... this all puts gaps in our education. The idea that we stop learning the day we graduate has somehow pervaded our society and made this into a big deal. The thing is, it isn't a big deal! My kids will be able to do some reading, find an expert to ask, take some classes. They can fill their own gaps.

We never stop learning, our methods simply change and evolve as we grow.

We may not stay doing the same thing forever. What works for us now, may not work next year. Our needs change. I am a chronic curriculum tweaker. It's my hobby, I've been studying curriculum since before I went to Uni. But when there are a few more bear cubs hanging around the Cave I may need to order myself an "out-of-the-box" curriculum and just use it as is. AND THAT'S OK!!

Because it doesn't have to be perfect to be right. If I were to wait for it to be perfect, we would never do ANYTHING. There is always something better on the next website, in the next cataloge, in the next book. Do do nothing because it isn't perfect is far more damaging than to set out and not have it all right.

Because ultimately, there is no great big cosmic report card.

I was blessed with these children.

I will step forth in prayer and in Grace.

I will seek to encourage and uplift my fellow mothers as they take their own journey.

And perhaps one day, the Bear Cubs will rise up and call me blessed.


But it won't be because of my curriculum choice.


Check out what works for other people at

And from hibernation we slowly emerge....

Five days before the official first day of spring, we would like to announce the the emergence of Mama Bear, Papa Bear and FIVE Bear Cubs from hibernation. We have so much to tell you!



It's been a cold but productive winter.

Drop by next week for some bloggy goodness from the bear cave...

Schooling the introvert

WHAT is an introvert?

My husband and I are both introverts. Let me define exactly what I am saying when I say we are introverts. I am saying we are energised by being alone or in a situation that does not require us to be socially active where as being in a very social situation (such as a party) can be quite draining - even if we enjoy it. Our introversion is of different degrees. Papa Bear enjoys having people around but also needs a bit of alone time with his own thoughts. Mama Bear, however, could quite happily live in a cave. Forever. Especially if I had a computer and a decent library.

Being an introvert is NOT being shy. "Shyness has an element of apprehension, nervousness and anxiety, and while an introvert may also be shy, introversion itself is not shyness." In fact, paradoxically, I have known EXTROVERTS, people who crave and are energized buy the company of others, who are painfully shy!

Being an introvert does NOT mean we lack social skills. Papa Bear is much better than tact than I am I admit, but generally we can conduct ourselves fairly well. How many people do you know who are extroverts, life of the party types, who are often quite rude? i.e. LACK SOCIAL SKILLS!!

Being an introvert does not mean we are depressed or mentally unbalanced or had a traumatic childhood.

Psychologists will argue at length over the merits of "nature vs. nurture" (were they born that way or did the environment make them that way) but the fact that Papa Bear (introvert) + Mama Bear (extreme introvert) = Princess Doc (Extrovert!) makes me think that God made us all very special and unique and our social inclination is simply a part of that.



HOW did being an introvert effect your (Mama Bear's) schooling?

Throughout my school years the fact that I preferred to read during recess rather than play netball or socialise 'with the girls' caused many school staff members a great deal of concern. Numerous report cards worried and fussed over my "lack of social skills", however every single one of those teachers would also say that I could participate in class discussions, group activities and general class life as well if not better than most of my peers and maintained good relationships with my small group of friends. Their concern was that I seemed to prefer my own company for large portions of the day. If asked why this was a problem, I doubt many of them would be able to give adequate reason. However for most of the years I spent in school - even going through to my tertiary years (my teaching internship report card almost had "does not play well with others" on it because I preferred to eat lunch in the classroom rather than the staff room) - I was told or it was insinuated that I needed to CHANGE. That I needed to be different. That I needed to fit into the social mold being presented to me.

You see, it is easier for a school to function if the student body is homoginised - if the students are fairly uniform in composition and blend together easily. When a student doesn't blend in for whatever reason, it usually makes life more difficult for the staff and sometimes for the other students. Hence, there is pressure placed DAILY on students to blend in many classrooms and school settings. Being that introverts compose a minority in society (as one article puts it, "a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population.") and that by their very nature they find constant social interaction taxing - if not downright stressfull - what load does the average school setting place on the introverted child? What effect does it have on the introverted child to be labeled as "anti-social", "weird", "freaky" or "an outsider" not only by their peers but by the trusted adults who are meant to be mentoring and guiding them? Think on that for a while. It sort of makes me wonder if the stereotypical "strange, weird kid who simply snapped one day" used to be a perfectly normal introverted person who was subjected to pressures, bullying and bombarded by messages that they needed to be different until they really DID become unhealthy!


WHY does the world need introverts?

Well, I would say that Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison made contributions to the world. Hans Christian Anderson and C. S. Lewis certainly made an impact on the world of literature. I would suggest that the reason introverts compose "a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population" is because introverts like to spend time with their own thoughts - giving their energy to figuring stuff out. Introverts have a special and unique contribution to bring to the world that is just as vital as the contribution made by extroverts. Introverts are a beautiful colour on the spectrum of human creation, NOT a defect. And God made us too!! There is an excellent article on evangelism for introverts here.



So, HOW do I handle the social aspect of my introverted child?

So far I have one baby bear who I can identify clearly as an introvert (Farm Boy) and another who is showing signs along those lines (Pigeon). Princess Doc is a clear extrovert and Tool Man could go either way at this point. Catering for the varying social needs and desires of our brood is simply part of parenting. Here are some insights we have gleaned from our own experiences being and parenting introverts.

First of all, let them be who they are! An introvert who is comfortable with the fact that they enjoy time alone will be far more functional socially than an introvert who feels inferior or defective because of their preference for alone time. It can be tempting for a homeschool family to push a child to participate in various groups and social events to assuage parental paranoia about raising an anti-social child. Don't do that! It is one thing to require a child to engage in family life and attend regular social events with the family, it is completely another to force arbitrary social stimuli on them for no logical reason other than to change their personality. "Introverts do like to socialize – only in a different manner and less frequently than extroverts." If an introverted child is to attend groups, camps, clubs etc. it needs to be primarily motivated by that child's passions and interests such as astronomy groups, Bible Studies, nature clubs or music camps rather than arbitrary 'socialising opportunities' which will likely be boring and counterproductive at best.

Second, take a look at your objectives in teaching your child about socialisation and society. Are you working to give them the tools they need to function successfully in society? Or are you trying to change them into an extrovert?

Third, recognise social skills as just that, a set of skills. The general consensus in most schools is that the "sink or swim" method of teaching social skills is woefully inadequate in terms of success. Therefore many schools are implementing programs for directly teaching social skills - many labeling these programs as 'anti-bullying' as bullying seems to be a major side effect of the sink or swim method. In our home we explicitly teach things like empathy, humility and conflict resolution through our character education. We help our children maintain friendships by having letter writing as a part of our 'language program'. We make time to hang out with our friends and family in low pressure situations (i.e. around a BBQ) and we watch how our kids are handling associating with others to see where we need to instruct them. The ability to politely decline an invitation to play is a VITAL social skill for an introverted child, something you can role play with them very easily. Both extroverted and introverted children, however, need social skills. Ironically, social skills come most naturally to our most introverted child!


Fourth, create a home environment that allows for privacy and solitude. We live in a house where there are 4 kids sharing a bedroom and our living/dining/kitchen area is small and open plan. Even the bathroom in combined with the toilet so retreating into there is a limited time option! However, if Farm Boy is laying on his bed with Red Bear, it is like hanging a do not disturb sign. If Mama Bear and Papa Bear close the bedroom door, you better be bleeding or have broken bones if you disturb them! If Princess Doc is curled up with a book or bent over a project - you simply let her be unless there is a very good reason to interrupt. We allow each other space because we could not function otherwise. Allowing space and solitude alleviates pressure to constantly socialise and creates opportunity for each of us to cultivate our personal relationship with God as well as recharging our batteries. Long term, this is a positive move for the social life of the whole family, not just the introverts. It also teaches the extroverts among us to respect and value the introverts rather than bullying or harassing them into being constantly social.

Last, ignore the critics and focus on what is best for your child. I have had people tell me that they could not possibly homeschool their child because the child is introverted and if they were homeschooled, they'd never speak to anyone! The reality is that I, and many other homeschooled introverts, found socialising MUCH easier once the pressure to be a social butterfly every day was taken off. Most introverted people still desire solid friendships and like all people they want to feel loved and valued. They just don't want to be talked at constantly! Even today, I find small talk taxing and it is an effort to engage in discussions about the weather etc. for more than five minutes. My friends have learned to, if not understand, tolerate this as one of the wonderful quirks that make up me. Isn't allowing the unique quirks of each child to develop a compelling reason to homeschool in the first place? I have learned to avoid, politely extract myself from or grin and bear small talk situations, to function within society without compromising my own integrity. Another good goal of a homeschool in my opinion!

Homeschooling in a Minor Key

Life, being what it is, and home, being what it is, can be somewhat unpredictable. You can be sailing merrily along and next thing you know, for one reason or another, you are in the doldrums.



When this happens, when grief or sickness, pain or depression strike, it is inevitable that it will have an effect on schooling. If people know about the troubles you face, the naysayers will often take this opportunity to chip away (with the best of intentions) at your resolve to homeschool at all. To tell the truth, this is often when we DON'T FEEL LIKE SCHOOLING ANYMORE. There, I said it. I, lover of all things homeschool and passionate advocate for homeschooling, have admitted that it isn't always sunshine and roses. Sometimes the key goes from major to minor. We wonder "if I find it an effort to shower today and preparing food for the family seems like an insurmountable challenge, would my child be better off at school today?". We question "surely if I could just sent them off to school I could get it together more, have some peace with no demands for a few hours."




We read homeschooling blogs, books, forums and support sites. We listen to the other Mums at homeschool groups and co-ops. We watch the Duggars on TV. And we wonder, am I the only one that doesn't have it together? The truth is, so many of us in the homeschooling world have had to defend our choices so often to everyone from our in-laws to the old lady in the grocery shop to actually admit that we feel sad and today life is tough IS HARD TO DO! But the fact is, friends get sick, accidents happen, people die. Life happens. And it's sad sometimes. If you think it is "un-Christian" to feel this way, I invite you to read Ecclesiasties, Lamentations, a fair portion of the Psalms, the stories of Israel in Exodus. I invite you to remember, Jesus wept..




Some things to remember:

* Teachers have off days and down times too. They struggle through and try not to let it touch the kids for the most part, but they are not on the top of their game. One teacher I knew lost her mother, had major surgery and experienced major trauma within her family all in one year and still kept teaching all year. Yes, she did an OK job, the kids didn't get bells and whistles and things were kept simple. My point is, how do you know that if you send them to school they aren't going to be taught by another grief affected person?

* Grief and sadness is a part of life. There is an article on Grief and Homeschooling which challenges the idea that it is best to isolate children from grief. Perhaps it is best to experience this together as a family. Perhaps it underestimates our children to think that they will not pick up on and be affected by our grief simply because they are out of the house 8 hours a day?

* It is OK to go vanilla! Julie from Brave Writer talks about experiencing grief and homeschooling in this article and insightfully recommends dropping the bells and whistles. It will not harm your children to spend a year just doing the three R's - and the basics of those. They will learn.

* Plan 'slack' into your program. There are the 'big' griefs, like a family member passing away or major illness touching the family, but there are also the 'little' griefs that rock your boat. Like the dog dying. If there is 'slack' in your program, like slow days planned into each week and a catch up week for the term, it is much easier to relax about having a few days of doona therapy where 'schooling' is a few read alouds and DVD's.

* Take a break. Now I don't have many family or friends who I can drop all four of my kids off with for the day. This pretty much only happens when I am going off to add another bundle! But, I can feed the kids fish and chips, on a quilt in front of the TV, then put them to bed early and they consider it a special treat. I can ask Papa Bear to watch everyone for a few hours on a Saturday afternoon while I take some time out to pray, meditate, journal or window shop on Etsy. I can even ask Papa Bear to take the two older ones away for the weekend which leaves me naptimes and evenings of complete quiet and solitude - something I need to heal. Get inventive, but there is a way. Even if it is to throw your apron over your head and refuse to come out for a while!

* Get Help. If you suspect you are suffering from depression (which I have dealt with more fully in my old blog here) this goes double! Help may be professional counseling, or it may be letting your husband, friend, mother, pick up the slack for you a bit.



So what about you? What have your experiences with grief and homeschooling been like? How do you homeschool in a minor key?

How do you remember that you WILL come out of the doldrums and one day, you will be in full sail again?

Friday Funny

We all face 'the comments' from well meaning people curious and/or judgemental about our choice to homeschool.

Once, I got offended.

Then I got defensive.

Then I got evangelical (no converts sorry to say).

Now I just shut up and let my kids be the proof of the pudding.

I don't need to defend or convert anymore.

But every now and then, on a cranky day, I feel like this:




Based on an article from here

But this, this is what is really in my heart now:

To the lady with the blue jacket and the disapproving tone.
I am glad you enjoyed sending your kids to school.
Your eyes look sad and I wonder how much joy you have had in your life.
I wish you'd enjoyed picking them up as much as you did dropping them off.

To the man with the football beenie and the concerned frown.
I am happy for you that you met your best friends at school.
It sounds like it was a very positive experience for you.
I hope my friends have good mates like you as they grow up.

To the lady with the purple hat and the laugh lines.
Thankyou, I think my children are lovely too!

Because the comments people make, are often not about me but about them.

Have a good weekend!

We struck out

Yes, it happens, I don't always get it right!

We have been planning to study birds in the first 'term' of this year. I had chosen Exploring Creation with Zoology 1: Flying Creatures of the Fifth Day Young Explorer Series by J. K. Fulbright as our 'spine' text. I pre-read it and I thought that it MAY be a little above the kids but I was excited about it. Well, I learned a lot from it! Forgetting, of course, that it was actually the KIDS who were meant to be learning not me!

I read the first few pages today and it sailed completely over their heads. Their eyes glazed over as I talked about Latin names and taxonomy. They had nothing to contribute when I asked questions and asked no questions of their own. Honestly, they learned more about birds from our reading of the Ugly Duckling this morning!



It was an honest mistake. I got excited about the information and know it is stuff I would love them to know about, but forgot about THEM in the mix!

So the brain cogs start whirring. What do I want Erin (the boys are pretty much just along for the ride on this one) to know about this? How can I teach her effectively and light her spark for the subject matter without drowning her in dry 'facts'? Honestly, the best way I think Erin can learn about the basics of taxonomy and scientific names is by labeling sketches and pictures for her nature journal with common and Latin names. And that's it! In my passion for this subject I forgot the golden rule of teaching a five and a half year old: KISS! Keep It Simple Sweetheart!

So I am putting this book on my bedside table to read. I will probably mention things I find out about to the kids as we brush over each subject area and I daresay it will be getting some airplay when birds next come around in our Nature subject rotation. But for now, I'm going to leave my kids alone, let them look at bird books and peek through binoculars and do my own learning - leave them to do theirs!

What is your home?

The image I have of our home, homeschool included, is the image of the space station in Huston. Now before you go any further, all I know about space exploration and rocket science I learned from Hollywood and the odd "Jetsons" cartoon so those of you with rocket science degrees, don't laugh too hard at my analogies and just try and stick with me OK? Good.



WHAT do I think a space station does?

Now, from what I gather, space stations do lots and lots and lots of preparation and planning and equipping. Then they send their rockets, shuttles and other big things that go WHOOSH into space. They remain a place of support and contact for personnel who have been crazy enough to sit in the big things that go WHOOSH (I know that 'cause Tom Hanks said "Huston, we have a problem.") and then they go and pick up people who have crash landed into the sea (or wherever), debrief them and prepare them to do it all over again.



WHYis this like my home?

Right now I am preparing and equipping my children to go off on huge adventures - possibly even in big things that go WHOOSH (Tool Man would go nuts for that). There are four extraordinary little people in this house (five if you count the latest bear cub who is cooking away in there). They were created in my womb, but they weren't created by me. They were created by God, according to His purpose, to work to His Glory. They were NOT created to stay here with me every day for the rest of their lives. This I need to keep in mind as I raise them. I need to help train them for their role in the big things that go WHOOSH.

Imagine if NASA rushed in every time an astronaut made a mistake on the simulator and gave them a lolly just so their developing 'astronaut self-esteem' wouldn't be bruised? Every single take off would crash and burn! Astronauts are trained and taught using their mistakes to learn from. Their equipment is checked, double checked and triple checked. If their special astronaut-y job is to press the red button they learn everything there is to know about the red button 'till they can press it in their sleep. They are prepared physically, mentally and emotionally for the rigors of their mission. They are trained to work with their support team and their co-workers under all sorts of conditions - even the ones they don't like. They are trained for every scenario ever experienced and some that haven't ever happened, just in case. In this way, it is my job to train the little people in my care.

When they are out there in the black, I won't be there to direct them, watch them, protect them. They will be out on their own my voice often just a noise from a speaker. I can advise, I can brainstorm solutions with them, I can draw on my hard earned expertise and pick the brains of others - but in the end it is them who will be making the decisions and THEM who will live with the consequences. I pray that we will have the type of relationship that will mean they can call on me any time without fear of 'static' on the line (judgement, condemnation, 'interesting family dynamics' etc.) and I pray that their shuttle will be "...thoroughly equipped for every good work" (2 Tim. 3:17) and most of all I pray that they a strong lifeline to God, collecting their navigational data and Life Support straight from the Source. But it is THEM who will be flying the thing, not me.

Then there is the whole landing deal. If it goes well, I hope I am there to celebrate with them. If it doesn't, I hope this home can be a safe place to crash for a while and regroup, reassess and set out again.



So how do I know if we have done it? When can we call a mission a success? The answer is, the only missions that are completely unsuccessful are the ones that fail to get off the launch pad or the ones we learn nothing from.


HOW do I go about making this home into a space station?

These are some of the things that we do:

* Write the Word of God on their hearts, no mission is thoroughly equipped without it and it will not return to Him void. (2 Timothy 3:16-17, Isaiah 55:10-11 )

* Actively guide and train their characters (Proverbs 22:6, Proverbs 23:13-14)

* Pray for them. (James 5:16, 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12)

* Facilitate them to follow their calling as best we can (no point training them to press the red button when they are chosen to press the BLUE button is there?!) (Jeremiah 1:5, Psalm 33:11)

* Love them to bits, no matter what!


And if by some miracle we get all this right, where do we expect our children to go?

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!

(see, movies are educational)

What about you? How do you see your home?